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I just feel very unlucky. Why me and not you, you bastard? There, I would give birth. Registered office: Nicholas House, 3 Laurence Pountney Hill, London, EC4R 0BB. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Mm-hm. or sort of light chat that we'd, we'd experienced before with previous scans. I didn't have a clue. If you are not sure, you can contact them and ask. 18-20 week scans provide clinicians with more information than earlier scans because by18 weeks a healthy baby should be larger and better developed. Could you tell? The consultant had said it wouldn't be like a normal delivery. Which is what I'd seen. We're still not at the end of our journey, but we're much further along. And they actually asked my husband to come in before they spoke to me. 17/12/2020 17:13. After preparing myself to face having to take the medication. As though I went power mad for a week, killing my innocent unborn child, and now I am tainted for ever. But with time although we will never forget, I know we will be ok again. b>Bad news at 20 week scan. You've had a scan, you've had the blood tests, you've been good. Our nightmare began when I went for my 20-week scan. I broke down and started hitting my disgusting body that had done this. [Husband] couldn't make it. Forcing my hand to my mouth to take the tablet was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. You may like someone to come with you to the scan appointment. But that was too easy. He wanted to talk about it, but I didn't. At first, I still had to deal with the physical implications of having given birth. Then I picked myself up. And I couldn't escape the feeling that I was being selfish. This publication is licensed under the terms of the Open Government Licence v3.0 except where otherwise stated. We were convinced everything would be OK. She didn't want to see the baby. Most scans show that babies seem to be developing as expected, and none of the 11 conditions are found. And that was extraordinary to see the detail that that could offer. It went from bad, to worse, to worse, to dire, then to better. You may need to have a full bladder when you come for the appointment. So had to come back in a week's time for a scan, which again is quite a common thing I found out. I was sat on the sofa working, my son was at nursery and my partner was in the bath. We left for home feeling completely numb. And before they gave me any of the results she asked a colleague to come and told me she wanted to check something, with a colleague, and by then I was getting very concerned because I'd never had that happen before. Thick milky discharge at 14 weeks.tmi pic attached. But it was very evident. However painful and traumatic the labour was, it was better than what would happen at the end of it. Wed like to set additional cookies to understand how you use GOV.UK, remember your settings and improve government services. Many parents were shocked by findings from the 20-week and later scans. Some things can be seen more clearly than others. Our week-by-week PREGNANCY emails are a must for parents-to-be. Public Health England (PHE) created this information on behalf of the NHS. But worse was to come. Again, no notes can have been written down because the midwife asked the same question. However, a few hours later there was another shift change. Like many things, the theory is very different from the reality. Sometimes it is difficult to get good views of a baby. The same anxious wait for a little, pathetic cry. We need to have your opinion'. But before he could speak, he, too, had broken down. Emma was 20 weeks' pregnant when a routine scan revealed that the baby she was expecting had Down's syndrome and heart problems. Some stories I hear are amazing! So she said, 'Come back on Monday. And, it does not occur to you in the slightest. I couldn't bring myself to push. We felt as if we were in limbo. And you could see, where you should have a picture of 4 chambers, you could really see 2. You get extra care and monitoring as appropriate and baby is proactively treated. And at that, I let out a scream I think. . You're in and out and that was it. Trying to carry on as normal, working and putting on a brave face. Instinctively, did it feel right? What were babys measurements at 20 week scan? Slightly marked from our peers. Looked exactly like our two year old as a baby. There were also two spots on his heart, which were "soft markers" for Down's syndrome. So he went out for a walk. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. I was told they needed to do a blood test to get a bench mark of my hormone levels. Has anyone been told the wrong sex at 20 week scan? She describes having to make a momentous decision very quickly, and the ferment of relief, guilt and grief that followed, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. No, you couldn't see there was anything wrong. I think there might be a problem'. Spina bifida can usually be seen clearly on a scan and of those babies who have this condition, around 9 out of 10 (90%) will be detected. Laura miscarried her twin babies in February. 80 percent of my pregnancies have ended in death and I felt like they were telling me those babies didn't matter. Some of the conditions that can be seen on the scan will mean the baby may need treatment or surgery after it is born, for example cleft lip. And I felt like a murderer. I then found that soft markers means 'vague unproven suggestion of a link', and that echogenic locii are small concentrations of calcium which are incredibly common and harmless. Actually you could tell from the brain development as he scanned up through the chambers of the brain, that one quarter of the brain, one chamber was not evident. x. But for those few days they were torture. On the next shift, the new midwife asked us again. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". We talked all night and thanked God for crap television. 15/02/2014 08:02. I couldn't have the added responsibility for changing his mind. And it was then because we were at 20 weeks by this point, there was only fairly short window to actually, to get some more tests done, find out what the problems were, and then make any decisions that might have to be made. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see 'Resources'). I had no idea if we were doing the "right" thing. In fact, interestingly enough, going sort of. I had an appointment with my consultant 2 days later, and again he said, you know, 'Very common - shouldn't worry about it too much, you know, if, the problem is if they find anything else wrong'. Thankfully I was met by an amazing sonographer, she was compassionate and understanding. At first the closeness came through a sense of guilt. Yeah, yeah. I wrote a few things down last night when we were trying to go over things, just to remind myself. By 7pm, I still hadn't delivered the baby. And, so they sent me home at that stage because they said the specialist wasn't available till the following day, which was awful. The consultant at the time wasn't really that interested in that imagery. Enough for two weeks after he had been cremated. My belly was growing and I was feeling great. And I can, the words that the scanning member of staff used, "Everything's fine", will stay with me forever. She endured many agonising rounds of scans and tests, and unfortunately met with some unhelpful attitudes from some healthcare professionals. How common is it for 2nd baby to come early..? I think I don't everything just seems a real blur because it was, it was such a strange experience. We scattered his ashes over a bunch of snowdrops. And the doctor - because it was a doctor rather then just the, a sonographer or whatever the correct term is - was scanning my wife, and she hovered over the heart of the baby and said, 'Oh there's the heart, we'll come back to that'. This is not what I imagined pregnancy to feel like', Baby Loss Awareness Week - Voice Five - Bryony Seabrook. I couldn't work out what was taking so long and put it down to the doctor being young and inexperienced. And that was a terrible moment to be sort of hanging on, waiting. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. Likely to have serious medical problems all his life. 2022. He bluntly told me, he wasn't interested in whatever was seen before, he was only going to go by what he saw that day. Read full disclaimer. Cardiac surgery can do some amazing things. The pain was bearable but uncomfortable, the hospital rang me a few days later and asked me how I was. I endured 12 hours of medication and in the early hours February 7, 56 days after my first scan (at nearly 18 weeks), I miscarried our babies. The gel makes sure there is good contact between the probe and your skin. The doctor gave her consent, and I took the four little tablets. I remember thinking, 'Gosh' I now know it was a girl, I didn't know that then, that, 'She looks just like her brother'. You know there's always that bit on the bottom of the thing, 'These are diagnostics, do not bring other children,' - blah, blah, blah.. it's not, you know, it's not a family outing kind of thing, but it feels like it. And it's, I can't remember exactly what it was now, it's about where the brain is supposed to form. This was on the Friday. I did think it was a bit strange that she wasn't talking, and then she sort of said, 'Oh, I think there's a problem. You have accepted additional cookies. It's a bit at the back of the brain and - no I can't remember what it is - it's called, it's something that's called Dandy-Walker mal, The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) have produced a report on Termination of Pregnancy for Fetal Abnormality in England, Scotland and Wales (May 2010). We were bound to each other because of the blood that was on both our hands. Sometimes women were told that the sonographer had found a 'marker' or sign of a chromosomal condition and had to wait for an amniocentesis to confirm the findings. The same rush of excitement. I felt more informed, and I felt that that was what I needed in my head to see you know, that I've got to accept now that this, all these things are real on the screen and this was really my baby that's suffering all these things [sighs], but I was sad as well. I had to stop myself from yanking out the needle. My partner really wanted me to, and by that time I had no sense of what was right or what I should do. By the time I left the hospital, I was in shock. There was an extra digit on one of the hands. I want to enjoy my son again, without any reservations. unfortunately the 20 week anomaly scan can pick up serious issues, hearing heart beats at midwife appointment doesn't let us know what's going on inside the body in detail. Which she reassured us that she'd be absolutely fine, this was a one-off. Last updated July 2017. Despite this new discovery, the sonographer was still concerned. The following is a quote from their report: If the scan reveals either a suspected or confirmed abnormality, the woman should be informed by the sonographer at the time of the scan. Seated in the antenatal clinic with lots of expectant mothers with baby bumps. Our position in our families has shifted. Do you have any thoughts about that? For many other women, the 18-20 week scan was the point at which they discovered the baby had serious problems. Except for the persistent, nagging doubts. And as soon as she said those words, both of us were like, 'Well what's wrong?'. My partner watched the baby come out, and for a split second I saw a look of joy on his face. It was the end of January, very end - about the 29th - I'd gone into, I'd gone into 5 months by then. The results come in stages. While some parents understood the clinician's restraint - even when they had to wait an hour or more for a definite diagnosis - others disliked being kept in suspense and wanted to be told what the clinician was thinking. And how wrong could they be? Again the legs were quite twisted, they said that the baby's sternum was very short - things weren't in proportion you know - the head was quite large, the neck was very thick, there wasn't really like a neck as such it was just things were kind of - there were lots of things that obviously the consultant could see that we weren't aware of. Some people want to find out if their baby has one of the 11 conditions and some do not. Well, at the regional hospital it was a 3-D scan. So I was, they couldn't actually finish the scan then, the baby was moving around too much, so they couldn't scan the heart and the stomach. No discussion, no quiet contemplation. He told me that they may want to do blood tests, but that 'he didn't see the point'. And I am slowly coming to terms with what has happened. So when that happened to us I really didn't worry, I thought, you know, it was literally the baby was in awkward position, they couldn't see the heart and that was why. No sort of questions about, 'Do you want to know whether it's a boy or a girl?' (See 'Resources'). After half an hour of lying on the bed, I was starting to get nervous, but was excited to find out that the baby would be a boy and that I could see his little heart beating strongly.